Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize