I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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