you win again, gameday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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