I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is Oprah even human
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
