She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
