i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
