i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
