office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
