It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
