you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
