If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
