What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
