I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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