all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
