i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
