you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
