R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize