Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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