I could make wine with my vomit
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
