He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
