I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize