he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
