I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
