did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
