Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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