About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
