We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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