upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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