Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
