i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
