Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize