this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
