I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize