I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
