Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
