if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
