Pappa wants mamma naked
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
