I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
