____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
