Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
