I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
