He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
