we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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