Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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