I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
