we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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