someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I had to cum in my sink.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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