I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
