like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize