Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
