.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
