the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
