just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
