I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
