Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
