we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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