I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
