I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
