ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my being single is dangerous.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize