Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I sprained my soul last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
