I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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