I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
