Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
