I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
