My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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