pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
