3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
