U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
