you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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